days go by...

and still i think about you. is that what you were going to finish it with? i'm not using capital letters anymore. what do you think about that? i've been writing papers in school and now it is almost time to be out of school. i'm almost done with school and i couldn't be happier.... right? well i almost went balistico last night. don't have a clue where all that emotion came from, but there it was. it was not a pretty sight to behold. but i woke up this morning and wham, bam, thank ya mam, it was gone! (ok the no capital letters is bothering me!)

I have a job which makes everyone happy! I'm nervous. I'm having to use skills I haven't used in a very long time. It will be something totally new to me. I am not adventurous so we will see how this goes. I'm very ready to be done with my internship. This has been the most awful and inspiring internship, EVER! It was funny, I was reading this scientific report on how MCP (that's my concentration) people are usually unhappy with thier internships. Just thought it was funny to experience something and then have it supported by an actualy research study. It served as a grouding tool for me in some respects (aka I'm not THAT crazy)!

The environment around me is changing. People breaking up, getting together, getting together in groups, getting stupid, getting (anything). Perhaps, though, it isn't you leaving me. It is me letting you leave. Think about that. I usually can get what I want. I like to let people make their own decisions. That's fine. Have a good one and I will throw the dueces. No hard feelings. I haven't got the time.

Right! I wish I could be that way. It hurts my feelings, and yes, I DO have feelings (somewhere deep down in my cold heart). Maybe that day will come when (insert various names here) realizes "shit, where is Brett when I need him?" or "God! Brett was such a good person and I wish he were here." Maybe that won't happen. I think with all the crap I bring I also bring plenty of good (or good times at least).

So here are my parting words for the evening.

One who looks for a friend without faults will have none.
~ Hasidic Saying

"Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up."
~ Bible: Ecclesiastes

I have lost friends, some by death, others through sheer inability to cross the street.
~Virginia Woolf

"Can miles truly separate us from friends?
If we want to be with someone we love, aren't we already there?"
~ Richard Bach