It has been a while since I have really posted. School is over for the semester, and I think that I passed everything. After a rough start, I received a wonderful evaluation. I do have to say that every time that I get a compliment at that place, I also receive a criticism. Even on the Christmas card there was a pun about me loosing my keys. I don't understand that at all. I do not know how I am going to make it through next semester. I am just ready to be finished with school. I have been going FOREVER and I am over it. It was very difficult for me to find the motivation to finish anything. I hope next semester will be better. I think that working at the capitol will be exciting, and I think that I will be working on the lottery. That should prove to make it a very interesting time.
It is Christmas party time and I have two parties and a birthday party tomorrow. I think one of them will just have to miss me. I am also going home tomorrow and help my dad with the yard and such cause he has had back problems and will probably have to have surgery to fix it. That is scary especially since my mother is going to have her other knee replaced after school is out in the spring. I don't like my parents getting older because that means that I am getting older. YUCK!

Well I don't really have a damn thing to do till January 5th. So hit me up or something.
Laters

bullshit

I'm tired of all the bullshit and drama. A great night turned into an almost mental breakdown for me. Why the hell do I care anymore for these people? Any of them, I tell ya. I'm just done. I just want to live my life, and have fun. So many people are miserable in their own lives, that they feel that have to make others' lives living hell. Go fuck yourselves. I neither need anyone, nor, crave anyone. Live your lives and if it fucks you up, well then good riddance to bad rubbish... that's all I have to say for now.

here are some lyrics for thought. I'm really confused right now, so these songs are giving me some things to think about by Regina Spektor:









Dulce et Decorum Est Pro Patria Mori

after all, everything's been said and done
i feel, i feel better now
come away, lay your hands at rest and close your eyes
and say a prayer for those who've gone

it's hard...to live...
it's harder than it's ever been before
the things that used to comfort me
don't comfort me, not anymore

after all, children being born into
a time of searching for some glory
and the lie's still repeating through the years
dulce et decorum est pro patria mori

it's hard...to live...
it's harder than it's ever been before
the things that used to comfort me
don't comfort me, not anymore

but you can't spend your whole life waiting for god to kiss you...
you can't spend your whole life waiting for god to kiss you back...

come on...come on back...


You

never give up loving
unless you have to
never give up loving
unless you must
cause it will haunt you
in the future
will try to crawl into your bed at night
never leave your lover
unless he makes you
by being cold and
awful mean
even then you'll probably
always miss him
he will visit in your dreams
Names and dates and faces
places you were happy
I'll never fall
never fall like that again...
never give up loving
unless you have to
never leave your lover
unless you must
cause it will haunt your
empty heart forever
til your body turns to dust
I want you...

what a difference a year makes?

I'm a year older now. I don't feel older. Is that weird? I do however, soon have to face the fact that I have to become a real adult. Jobs and stuff. It is weird. Old things come up that I wasn't expecting. Not that these things are bad. I have realized that sometimes growing apart is the best thing that can happen. It can either make both lives easier, or it can make coming back together all the better. I'm not sad that there are people I no longer speak to. Things always go the way that they are suppose to. There is sadness for some though. Sometimes things get so mixed up and out of control that they can't be repaired easily. Just a few random thoughts. That's all... no major philosophical shit...

hurricanes and the such

Wow! So I think it is funny that my mom didn't want me to move to nola because of the hurricanes. Let's keep track Arkansas-2 NOLA -0 so far. It is a bitch outside and for some reason I can't sleep.

I just read Shuan's blog (miss ya boo boo) and it makes me think. It makes me think how few people would actually miss me if I move. Now, wait! Before you think this is going to be depressing just give me a second. I actually consider this a good thing. There were times in my life that I had so many "friends" I didn't know what to do with them. Now it isn't so much. I feel oddly unattached. This is alright with me. It allows me the freedom to move and do things that I want to do. So while it may feel lonely, I really don't mind.

School is alright. I hate statistics. The only reason I am taking it is because the school wants more money. I can teach that class better than my teacher can, he's.... umm... not so smart. Internship is not what I expected. I am in one of the most respected organizations in the state of Arkansas. I feel so fruitless in my job however. Not to mention that a certain person there and I don't seem to mesh too well. I am getting to go to a swanky dinner at the Peabody, and all I have to do is registration. Then let the good times roll. I'm excited.

I'm just ready for it to be May 15, 2009. That's right people. I will be "hooded". Like I'm in a secret society of do-gooders or something. Then, who knows, I may be moving to a town near yours! Nighty Night

I copied off of shaun....

I like the format of blogger, and it makes it easy to blog so.... here we go. I'm excited about the internship I am about to start. I'm going to be at Arkansas Advocates for Children and Families. Long title, I know. They do policy analysis on laws and lots of lobbying. I'm very excited. These are the kinds of things that I want to do. So my professional life is going great. My personal life, now that's a different story.

I have recently lost two of, what I thought were, my good friends. It was over something that was never my fault. It seems like when things get tough for people we tend to revert to high school tactics. All I have to say is that when it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck, walks like a duck, and tells other people "hey, i'm a duck" then guess what, I'm going to call it a motherf&cking duck. That's all.

Anyway, I'm excited about my new internship, but SCARED as heck. I hope that I will be able to do everything that I need to do, and if I can't then hopefully someone will help me. This is mostly for me, but if you are reading it then leave a comment. That would be abfab. Thanks